Tuesday, February 23, 2016

"Godzilla" (2014) Movie Review

Movie Info: "Godzilla" (2014) - IMDb

Ratings: "Godzilla" (2014) - Rotten Tomatoes

Massively Disappointing

Ah! How to describe the MASS SUCKAGE that is Gareth Edwards' 2014 "Godzilla?" How about: 1.) It's bad when you know that a dude in a rubber suit is infinitely better than the $100 million in visual effects Edwards blows to no good effect in this thing, or 2.) That Roland Emmerich's laughable 1998 "Godzilla" is better than this thing!

There has been talk about finally getting The Oscars to create a Best Casting category. But, this movie deserved a Worst Casting Oscar! Wow, the completely-unable-to-act dude from "Kick Ass?" An Olsen twin? Bryan Cranston overacting himself into the ground? Ken Watanabe inexplicably droning through his dialogue unemotionally?

Now, I am most forgiving when I just see a movie on cable that I have already paid for. I am less forgiving when I pay to see a movie by renting the blu ray, etc. But, I am completely unforgiving when: 1.) I take the time to go to the theater, 2.) Paying evening prices to see a movie, and 3.) Pay the upcharge to see it in 3D. Well, "Godzilla" met all three of those, so yeah, I'm pissed at how badly Edwards @#$%ed this up! And, he did. Royally. It's hard to imagine that they gave him a "Star Wars" film to do! Luckily, it's just a spin off, and not one of the trilogy movies!

Everything is messed up in this. The story is bad, Godzilla is in the movie for only a few minutes. And, when he is, he's in the dark half the time. What a waste! Only the score by Alexandre Desplat is good. And, this is a composer who has left me very unimpressed with almost all of his work.

Avoid this LIKE THE PLAGUE and go see the upcoming Toho "Godzilla" movie, "Godzilla Resurgence" coming out later this year!

★ (1 Star Out of 5)

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